Game Review: Dong Dong Never Die

Because, at this point, why not?

Think of all the crazy things that made you go WTF you’ve seen come out of Japan. Now think of all the fighting games you’ve ever played. Now combine both of those, but instead of Japan, think China. That pretty much sums up Dong Dong Never Die, a freeware 2D fighting game that almost manages to usurp Japan as the center of all things WTF, but only just. The insanity starts at the character selection screen, which is reminiscent of the Super Street Fighter selection screen, only much more insane. Because only in Dong Dong Never Die can you play as two nurses against a guy who thinks he’s the Asian Micheal Jackson.

What, did you think we were joking?

At first glance, the game looks like someone re skinned a bunch of fighting icons like Iori (KOF) and Ryu (Streetfighter) with a unique (some may say deranged) twist. Like the guy that fights with an inner tube for example.

You've never seen a guy fight with an inner tube before?

Or Mario.

It's-a-me, Mario

Once you get past the initial WTF AM I PLAYING stage of shock, the game’s fighting mechanics are pretty good. It’s not as polished as the ones in commercial games obviously, but the hitboxes and the character animations are surprisingly well done. You can initiate hyper moves right after super moves for example, delivering some massive damage when timed correctly.It’s all very impressive, and the fact that it’s made by a bunch of Chinese fans is a nice plus. Special effects are nice and some of the super moves are superbly executed, like the one where the dainty girl with the umbrella calls Optimus Prime to beat you down.

Because, at this point, why not?

I don’t really endorse freeware games all that much, but this game just begs to be played. It’s a nice conversation piece when your friends come over, and heck, who can resist kicking ass as an obese construction worker?

We should all be that lucky

You can download the game from here.

[album: Dong Never Die /]